What Writing This Book Taught Me About God’s Faithfulness

Facing the Past Through Writing

To be honest, writing Battles Beneath the Blossoms was difficult, to say the least. There were moments of deep discouragement and confusion as I reflected on everything God had brought me through. Recounting my past took me right back to those painful moments, often triggering flashbacks I wasn’t prepared for.

The most difficult part was writing about deeply emotional and intense experiences. My goal was never to dwell on the darkness but to highlight God’s power through Jesus Christ—to show that He saved my life and transformed me completely. Every page needed to reflect His grace accurately, and I wrestled with how to represent Him well.

At the same time, looking back on my overdoses, my failures, and the pain I once hid behind a smile, I realized something profound: God truly worked a miracle in my life. I shouldn’t be here today, yet He rescued me and gave me a life I never thought possible.

Confronting What I Wished to Change

Writing this book forced me to face the reality of my past, even though I am a new creation in Christ. It was both cathartic and challenging. There are things in this book that are deeply personal and vulnerable, and I struggled to find the right words to express them. My heart’s desire was to preserve the raw emotions I felt during those moments while also testifying to God’s redeeming power.

Overcoming Insecurities

One of my biggest insecurities was the length of my book—being under 10,000 words made me feel inadequate. But then God spoke something profound to my heart:

That truth freed me from the pressure of trying to impress others. Now, whether in social settings or in my writing, I remind myself that I am set apart for God’s purpose—and that is enough.

Breaking Free from People-Pleasing

I’ve written before about how I struggled with the shame of people-pleasing, but I’m still on this journey. God has given me revelation that I don’t have to be trapped by those feelings, but He’s also helping me break free from the habits that came along with them.

I still find myself beating myself up after awkward social interactions or hesitating to set boundaries in ministry and community commitments. But day by day, He’s teaching me what it means to prioritize Him first.

The Joy of Obedience

Ultimately, writing this book taught me the joy of obeying God’s call. I first had the dream to write Battles Beneath the Blossoms in February 2023, and now, in April 2025, it is finally being published. The journey wasn’t easy. It took a while to get started because I doubted myself—I don’t have a college degree, and I felt unqualified to publish a book.

But the Lord, in His faithfulness, held my hand through every step. And now, I get to share the greatest story of all: how Jesus captured my heart.

A Call to Action

If you feel unqualified for what God has placed in your heart, you are not alone. But remember: He equips those He calls. If God has placed a dream on your heart, take a step of faith—He will guide you.

I’d love to hear from you: What is something God has called you to do that you’ve been hesitant to pursue? Share in the comments —I’d love to encourage and pray for you!

And if my story resonates with you, I invite you to read Battles Beneath the Blossoms and see for yourself the incredible grace of God in action.